Does it mean I am more or less patient if I have to count to 20 in order to not get angry?
Am I really being that good of an example to my boys when counting to 20 doesn't work and I do get angry?
Am I really trying to invite the spirit into my home and teach my boys how to act but I have the T.V. on for background noise and all the sudden I hear bleep, bleep, bleep or violence? Then I run into the living room to turn it off and I see Kaysen standing right in front of the T.V. watching this stuff.(I have decided that I really am going to get rid of T.V.)
Is it bad if I didn't even get out of pj's on Saturday or Sunday because I knew that I wasn't leaving my house?(I did shower though)
Is it horrible that while I am up every hour at night for the past week with a sick baby I am thinking,"PLEASE...just sleep!"?
Is it bad that I tell Jerry that Kaysen wants to go with him to Joseph City today, even though Kaysen didn't know that Jerry was leaving, just because I want a little break?
Does it mean that I depend a little too much on my child when he has left with his Dad for the whole day (because of me) and as they pull out the driveway I cry because I am going to miss him??
Is it bad that Jerry has had this week off and he planned to work on the house and get many other things done, but because I cry and am grouchy he stays home to help me?
Is it bad that I skipped pilates for the past 3 days and ate twice as much junk food when I know that I have a few more "baby" pounds to lose?
Is it so bad that everyday I have to go in my room, lock the door and just kneel at my bed and say a quick prayer (while Gage is crying in the living room and Kaysen is pounding on the door) so that I am able to just get through the day?
Is it bad that I pray for patience everyday and then I realize that Heavenly Father is giving me harder situations that will help me improve my patience, then I want to stop praying for patience so that he won't give me these situtations anymore??
Is it horrible that I have bathrooms that need to be cleaned, laundry that needs to be washed, floors that need swept and mopped, dishes that need to be cleaned and payroll that needs to be done,but instead I am on here, writing a new post just so that I can vent???
.JPG)
3 comments:
hey its okay, i do alot of those same things.... i think we all do!! so how is the house coming along? you should post some pics of the progress.... have a better day tomorrow!
Yeah...I stopped praying for patience a long time ago. Same thing happened to me. That's probably not a good thing that I stopped doign that, but I'll tell you what...my patience stopped getting tested. :0P
Tears came to my eyes when I read this, becuase it describes me EXACTLY!!!!! I hate getting upset with my kids but I just can't seem not to. My two kids have been so whiney, and throwing so many fits lately, it never ends....and I'm about to have a new baby and will have to deal with all these fits plus a new baby.......
Jerry is wonderful to stay home and help you. Jeremy is the same way. I always feel so bad becuase there is so much that he has to do and then I feel like a terrible wife besides feeling like a terrible mother, but then when I look back on it, I am so grateful to be married to such a wonderful guy and I just hope and pray that I treat him as good as he treats me.
I do a lot of what you do....pray, pray, pray and cry, cry, cry and take it a day at a time, and go on walks when Jeremy gets home. Here is a scripture that I read tonight: D&C 65:32-34 and go to the Josh Groban website (www.joshgroban.com) and watch his music video "you are loved"
YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!!!!!!
Love you
Jennie
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