Why, Hate and Well...

This boy stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on him. It took a long enough time to get him here and I swore that I would love him and be the best mom to him forever.

I think that I was just too excited about having a baby and too niave to realize there would be days that I'd go nuts.

But I still love him and always will.

Lately he's been a little sassy.

He's been talking back and when I tell him not to do something he says, "Why can he do it?" or "Why did you let me do it last night?" or "How come so and so's mom lets them do it???"

I sharply reply, "Because I'm not so and so's mom, I'm your mom and I only worry about you."

Man and I my mother's daughter???

I remember these words.

I think that I was a teenager when I heard them though. Not 3 years old. (I may be wrong)

A friend of mine heard Kaysen ask me this one day and she could tell that it was driving me crazy so she said, "Because she's the mean mom that loves her kids."

He looked at her like she was crazy.

I looked at her like she was crazy. I don't want to be the mean mom.

I think she realized this because she said that is what she says to her kids. Then she pointed out that its the "mean" ones that love their kids the most and want what's best for them.


I go to volleyball twice a week and sometimes I have to bring my boys along with me. There is a little girl there that constantly says, "I hate you" to anybody who doesn't do what she wants. I knew without a doubt that Kaysen would catch on to this phrase sooner rather than later. I just didn't think that it would be that same day....

I don't even remember what I asked Kaysen to do, I only remember him not liking that I asked him to do it. And ever so fastly did those mean words flow from his mouth. I know he is only 3 and doesn't understand the complete meaning of these words, but he knows they are words that hurt. You could tell by the face he made as he said them.

Yet, I think that he saw the look on my face when he said them and realized just how mean they are. Almost instantly he said sorry.

This little incident instantly made a scene from long long ago jump into my thoughts....

My mom was folding clothes in the living room and asked me to take my clothes to my room and put them away because our Home Teachers were going to be there any minute. Being the honry 10 year old (or so) that I was I fought her about doing it and ended up stomping to my room. Little did I know that she was right behind me. I throw the clothes that my mom just washed, dried and folded for me on my bed in a heap and said, "Oh I HATE you!!!" But I didn't know that she would hear it. I turned around to see her sad, dissapointed face as she said, "Really? Do you hate me Charlsye?"

Instantly, I cried no that I didn't mean it. But the damage was already done. I never wanted our home teachers to leave so fast. I hated sitting there thinking the whole time that my mom thought I hated her. It made me feel sick inside.

I now know that my mom knew that I didn't hate her. Just hearing those words stung her at first. Just like when I heard Kaysen say them.

So to hear my 3 year old son already say this to me made me sick. I don't want him talking like that. HATE is a strong word. I want him to learn to use and act out the opposite word...LOVE. But I realized that I need to do it first. I need to show him what love is more.

Anytime Kaysen does something that I ask him not to he also replies with. "Well..." (with as much attitude a 3 year old can muster) then answers why he did it or wants to do or not do it. After about the 739 time of saying "Well" that day I finally looked him in the face and said,"Where did you come up with this? Why are you sayig that all the time?"

He looked me in the eyes and said, "You."

At first I wanted to say that I don't say that but realized that I do.

Whenever Kaysen asks me why or something I reply with a quick. "Well, I told you too." or "Well, do it anyways." or "Well, come on then." etc.

That song I've been watching you by Rodney Atkins jumped into my mind. I realized that my kids are watching me.

It may be the mean moms that do discipline and love their kids. But I don't want to be the mean mom. I want to be the mom that can discipline with love. I say this, but it is soo hard for me to do all the time. I honestly pray daily for help. I know that Jerry and I can't raise our children alone.

One of the things Kaysen learned in primary a couple weeks ago was a saying that he loves to say everyday.

"I am a Child of God and I love him and he loves me."

He already tells me that Heavenly Father and Jesus love him. If he catches on that quick to when people love him and treat him kindly, how fast is he catching on to those who act like they don't? I want him to know that Heavenly Father and Jesus love him but I also want him to know how much I LOVE HIM. I guess that means I need to be more like them huh? Then he'll really know how much I do love him.

Silly boy...curious boy...smart boy

These are picture of Gage acting like he is going to the bathroom. Almost eveytime he has to go he runs into the bathroom. It is so hard to get a diaper off in time and he's a bit impatient so he just runs in and pulls up his shirt like he sees Kaysen do.



Then he leans over and acts like he's going. Notice he has an outie? Actually it's a hernia but anyways, he thinks that this is what is helping him go to the bathroom, since the real part is covered with a diaper.


Then he proceeds to flush the toilet.

This little boy makes our home one that is full of laughter. I love it and I love him.

Today was a day

Today was a good day.

You see, my husband is off for the next week and we don't have to work on a house that is an hour away anymore. This hasn't stopped him from working though. Here is a picture of him picking then shoveling the dirt out of our trench for our retaining wall. It is too close to the hill so we can't get to it with the backhoe. So, he has to dig a trench that is 18" deep x 18" wide and about 110' long all with a shovel! Did I mention he is a hard worker?? I'd say forget it if it was me, luckily its not up to me because we really need a retaining wall.

Daddy needed a little break from the digging so we took a family excursion to our local pond. Okay, so right now its pretty much just a mud hole, but during monsoon season you might just see it half full!

While on this little excursion Kaysen informed us that he was going to shoot a rabbit. So off we went looking for rabbits. We didn't find any but we did see a bird and Kaysen was trying to shoot it right away. However, we only brought his little BB gun that can only go about 50 yards and with the slightest wind shift you'll miss the target. Needless to say, he didn't get the bird but he had a heck of a time trying.

Of course Gage thought he was big enough to try it out too.

Then we headed home and went for a ride on our mini bike. Jerry just bought this from our nephew last week. He's been joking about buying it for over a year. Well, at least I thought he was joking. Turns out that although it doesn't go that fast and is quite old, it really is fun to ride. Our boys love it. Kaysen can't wait until he's big enough to ride it by himself

Gage loves to ride it and either act like he's chasing me or while I'm driving it he'll try to run after me to catch me. He just laughs the whole time.

Doesn't this thing remind you of Dumb and Dumber??? I love it. It has seriously brought out the kid in me. As I rode it I laughed because I made it shake back and forth (not purposely) just like Lloyd did when he bought the motor bike and was going back for Harry. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. It was like a little kid laugh. It felt great.

Isn't this the face of a little boy who is having soooo much fun??


After all of our outdoor adventures we headed home to make pink heart cupcakes. Kaysen loves to help me cook and was right in there pouring all of the ingredients and stirring the batter. He's always excited to help...I think he was just really excited to see them turn into hearts.


Then we grilled some steaks and headed over to Mr.G's (a local pizza place) to get some ice cream. They have a big projector that they play movies on so we sat there and ate our ice cream and watched Shrek.

Then we headed home and to bed.

There was a time during the day that I stood in the middle of our road and watched Jerry ride the mini bike with Gage on his lap and Kaysen on his four wheeler riding beside Jerry. At that moment I realized how content I am with my life.

No wait.

How HAPPY I am with my life.

Today wasn't just a day. It was a great day!!!

Hope you had a great day too!! :)

Early Start...

Today we had an early start.



Both of my boys woke up early and both were full of energy from the start.



I knew I was going to have to be more creative than normal with them...and that's hard for me. I don't come up with new ideas very well.



So I decided that we would make homemade valentines and send them to our loved ones.



It was a success!


Do you see the smile on this boys face???



It stayed there practically the whole time we made them and it took almost 2 hours. 2 hours of 100% attention and fun.



Gage had fun coloring all over too...but he didn't last the whole 2 hours. He got pretty bored with it after about 30 minutes. But hey...he had fun and now the Valentine's have his special touch too. (along with our fridge...:( )







Here is the finished product on a couple of them. So for those of you who receive one...sorry its no surprise anymore.



They are nothing MAJOR special, but they were kid made & made with love.

Here Kaysen wrote "love" he knows how to write each of these letters but he didn't know which order or how many of them to write. Notice that it really says llllove. That just means he REALLY loves Taron.

Now he is writing XOXO but it is really XOOX. He thinks that all O's have to have a circle in them. I think this is because on certain fonts on his shirts and other stuff it looks like it has another cirlce in them.

Then we made some "sweethearts." It is a delicious recipe that I found in our Friend magazine. If you want to try it click HERE It is just jello (i used strawberry jello instead) and pudding but Kaysen loves it. We have it in the fridge setting up now and tomorrow we will cut it into heart shapes. I would have done it sooner but I can't seem to find my heart cookie cutter and need to get one.

After the fun we had today, maybe waking up EARLY isn't such a bad thing...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!