I'm Sorry...

Lately we've had an issue of saying I'm Sorry. Our boys with smack each other, wrestle, take things, bump each other over and many other things and won't say I'm sorry. Sometimes, many times, these happen on accident. Sometimes, they aren't. We are still trying to get them to say sorry anyways.

So for F.H.E last night it was my turn. We read a story about Barry the bear who ate all of the berries and didn't share with this other bear that wanted some berries too. Later, Barry wanted to rest by his favorite tree but his friend, a beaver, chopped it down. The beaver said sorry, but didn't really mean it. He just said it. Barry realized that he needed to say sorry to his friend that he didn't share the berries with and mean it too. So he found her, apologized and they were friends again.

For the activity we got blue pieces of paper, crinkled them into a ball and had 3 different bowls to toss them into. We played horse, except we spelled SORRY instead. It was a hit. Kaysen has already asked if we can play it for F.H.E. tonight too.



We'll have to see if the moral of the story sunk in as much as the game did.

Second Child...

Gage is definitely our second born. I'm sure that this is all because of how we've handled situations and have learned. Kaysen was our gineau pig. Technically Gage is too because we are still learning but I'll have to admit we were more strict on Kaysen (maybe too much) and Gage we tended to let things slide a bit. (which we are paying for now, and are now being just as strict if not more so.) Maybe because I realized there are bigger things to worry about, maybe because I was tired from dealing with two toddlers, maybe because he was my baby now and I knew he would be my baby for a bit longer time than Kaysen was. Gage doesn't have a problem with it either. Where Kaysen wanted to be a big boy from the start, Gage was content just goin with the flow and being a bit well, babied. He has grown up so much in just the past couple months though (since he has been potty trained).

He was a late talker. He started saying his first words around a year old and I thought he'd take off from there like crazy. However he hit a little road block and didn't REALLY start talking well until he was 2 years old. Now its hard for me to imagine a time when the boy didn't talk. Now he's constantly saying, "Mom guess what?" or "What color is it?" or "What shape is it?" or "I missed you." and "I lub you." along with many other of his favorite phrases.

He can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. (when he decides to) He takes a nap pretty much every day still. When bedtime comes, which is usually around 8:00pm he will stay on his bed (except for the one time, every night, when he tells us he needs to go potty) and talk to himself until at least 9:00 or 10:00.We tried not letting him have a nap to see if he'd sleep sooner, instead it just made him cranky and 90% of the time he'd fall asleep during dinner or while I was cooking. A late nap was evern worse than an early one so we're still listening to him every night after we put him down for bed.

He LOVES shapes. Since he was 18 months old he could name pretty much any shape, including trapazoids, hexagons and pentagons. Anything he sees is a shape and he'll tell me to ask him what shape it is so that he can tell me.

He loves colors too and will always point out what color EVERYTHING is.

He has began to love counting. One day he just randomly started counting and hasn't stopped since. He can count to 12 really well and from there he'll just say random numbers. He especially loves counting objects in books as we read.

He loves being outside. That is, if I turn the t.v. off. Here is another opposite from Kaysen. Gage could watch t.v. all day long if I let him. Kaysen on the other hand gets bored after a few minutes and will start playing with toys. Now that the weather is getting nice though, Gage has been choosing outside a bit more than t.v. (I don't have to fight him anymore when I turn the t.v. off) He was all about Mickey Mouse, Dora, Diego and Backyardagains for the LONGEST time. Now he is moving onto real movies. He loves The Incredibles, How to Train Your Dragon, Tangled and Cars.

He loves animals. His Aunt Jennie has a few cats, kittens and puppies. She lives next door to Grandma Miller and whenever we are at Grandma's playing, he is outside chasing all these animals. He is NOT scared to just grab them and hold them.

He is a funny kid. (luckily both of mine are) He loves to play. Perhaps a bit too much. He doesn't take many things seriously and its so hard to get this kid to concentrate on something for very long. He just wants to make whatever it is he is doing fun. Whenever he plays something, he is always asking Kaysen to please come play with him. He loves to do things with his older brother and it has been so fun to watch them play. Altough every time (no matter what they play) they end up in a wrestling match with one of them screaming at the end. He is always trying to jump out and scare you (which he also learned from Kaysen). When he wants your attention he grabs your face and says, "Yoowhoo." He always seems to know what to do so that Jerry and I smile even when we are mad at what he is doing. I don't know how many times I've had to turn my head so he doesn't see me smile when I'm supposed to be mad at what he has done.

He is in this 2 year old hard stage that I remember dealing with from Kaysen oh so well. (Its my hardest stage to deal with) He likes to try and tell me "No". When I tell him no, he looks at me with his hands on his hips and says, "Don't tell me no! Mom!" (which now results in him getting hot sauce or soap, even though sometimes he's cute when he's got this attitude I've realized I gotta be better at teaching him respect)

He is easily frustrated. (which he probably gets from me) If something doesn't go his way, right away, his true temper flares right up. Although it goes away faster than it came on usually.

He is a big boy and has been since he was born. He is now about 2 inches shorter than Kaysen and weighs 2 lbs more. We say he is going to be our big linebacker.

He loves shoes too. (still) We've pretty much come to accept it and let him wear anything but my heals now. Jerry says it was cute when he was a baby, but he doesn't want his son running around in heals when he's 12. hahaha. Gage pretty much just loves dressing up, in anything. He loves being a pirate, cowboy and super man.

It will be exciting (challenging) to see how our "baby" handles becoming the big brother. He still loves to sit right on our laps and cuddle at any moment he can and I don't see him being too happy about 2 little babies coming in and taking his spots. I do see him trying to lift them out of the crib when they cry, giving them 10,000 kisses a day, and hugging them (a bit too strong) often but I know that he'll be a great big brother. He has been so fun to watch grow and has taught me some important things in life. I can't wait to continue watching and seeing what this little boy will become.

Easter and a Special Egg Hunt...

Today we watched "Worthy is the Lamb" which is about the Atonement and Christ's death, and "He is Risen" which is about the Resurrection, both are from the Living Scripture movies. We've been playing these movies each Sunday for a couple weeks in the hopes that our kids would better understand what Easter is really about.

Each time Gage sees Jesus on the cross he says he says he wants to help get Jesus down. Each time Kaysen sees it he says it makes him sad because he loves Jesus and those nails would hurt really bad.

The movies were a perfect way for them to see and understand a little better. Sometimes, it's a bit hard to explain something that complex to them. Gage knows who Jesus is but doesn't completely "get" the story. Kaysen however tells me that "Jesus loves us and died for us so we can live with him again. And that when we die, we'll come back to life too." We tried to explain that we have to stay in heaven for a bit but that yes, one day we will live again. At least he's understanding that Jesus loves us...that's an important thing to know.

Along with having the Easter Bunny come on Saturday, we've decided to have a "Special Egg Hunt" on Sunday.

Our boys were stoked to be able to find eggs again.





I told them something special would be in ONE of the eggs. So when all the eggs were found they had to open each one to see what the special surprise would be.




Kaysen found it....

a picture of the Savior coming out of the tomb. I told them that the egg was like the tomb that had Jesus' body inside of it. After 3 days, Jesus came out, just like the picture of Christ.

They loved it. So we did it again and again and again. Except now they both want the picture of Jesus. It's been a fun little game that I hope to make a family tradition. It helps keep the true meaning of Easter alive.

Happy Easter!

Egg Hunting...

Tonight we had the traditional Egg Hunt at Grandma & Grandpa Miller's house. With 18 kids in attendance and over 100 eggs it was quite the event.

Our kids would not hold still for a picture. Gage completely understood what to do this year and went at it. We were able to capture a picture of him getting the eggs. Kaysen on the other hand was running so fast from one place to the next that we couldn't snap one quick enough.

We were finally able to get him to hold still for a quick picture with his cousin.

And it was a miracle we were able to snap this picture of our boys together. We tried a bit too soon to get them to take a picture together. There were still too many eggs to get and that's all they wanted. I don't blame them. This grandma even puts money inside the eggs that come from her. The rest of them had candy or easter toys inside. There were some real eggs out there too, however Gage didn't want anything to do with those. Smart kid knew where the good stuff was.

Easter Bunny....

We decided that this year the Easter Bunny would come visit us on Saturday morning instead of Sunday. This way, our kids could have the traditional Easter festivities and still get the Spiritual side of it on Sunday.

Here is where the baskets were hidden this year...

I heard Kaysen moving around in his bed and was waiting for him to come in my room and get me. Instead I guess he decided to have a peek at his basket first. He ran in my room saying, "Mom! The Easter Bunny left a basket in the window behind the curtains!!! That's silly!" I said, "Well let's go check it out!" Off we ran to look at his treasures.

Gage woke up a few minutes later and wanted Kaysen's basket. He wasn't even letting us explain that he had a basket hiding somewhere. Finally Kaysen brought Gage's basket out. This is a picture of Gage saying, "Oh thank you, Kaysen!" (as he rips it from Kaysen's hands)

They got a little microscope with fake bugs inside their basket. Gage loves microscopes. However, he calls it a "spy glass"

Kaysen loved the wand bubbles. We hadn't taken them outside to blow yet, but he loved swinging them like a bat. Look at that form!

He's mesmerized by the "chocolate milk bunny"

They were pretty excited when their Dad finally walked through the door from coming home from work. They just couldn't wait to show off their treasures.

Trying to figure out the paddle balls...

Flashback: Every Easter I remember getting one of these paddle games, except it was always wood. I always got one of those giant balloons with a rubber band attached to it that you'd punch around. Besides these two things, and candy the only basket I REALLY remember distinctly getting was when I got a CABOODLE. You know, one of those plastic (tackle box like things) that hold make up. I found it in the dining room under the computer desk. My sister, Lacye got a caboodle too, it was pink and opened like a tackle box. Mine was a teal, oval shape and when the top lid opened it had sides that popped outward. I can't completely remember what was inside the caboodle. I just remember being so extremely excited that I got a make up box like my older sister. I thought I was all grown up. The Easter Bunny did a great job that year.

Our Egg Family...

Yesterday we decided to color our Easter Eggs.

This year I was smart though...

We did it on our garage floor. (we were planning on doing on the back porch but the wind decided to ruin that idea.)

And my kids were only wearing their undies.

Each year I just get stressed about them spilling the dye all over my table and floor and their clothes. This year I didn't care. I let them go at it like crazy.

Good thing because the second egg was a pink one and Gage knocked the dye all over the place. Luckily there was just enough to fit half of an egg inside it still.

Here are our studly boys showing off their eggs. They had so much fun and were pretty bumbed that we only did a dozen eggs. They wanted much more, but I can only eat so many eggs.


This year we stayed pretty basic with the decorations and simply wrote our names on a few of them and left the rest just colored.

Here is our family....

And here is a pic of all the eggs...don't worry though, we don't plan on having our family be this big.

Kaysen's F.H.E.

Kaysen learned something in Sharing Time on Sunday. They told all of the kids to take it home and teach it to their family (like they do almost every week, this week he just listened).

So on the drive home he informed me that he was in charge of Family Home Evening. I was all for it. It was my turn and I was going to do a little Easter lesson (and still did to fill a little time, but he did most of it)

You need a Styrofoam plate and plastic spoon with a picture of Jesus on the inside, salt and pepper.

First you dump the salt. Kaysen informs us that, "This is when you are clean."


"This is when you get dirty and make bad choices" he says as he pours the pepper on top of the salt.


Then you rub the bottom of the spoon on your hair "then think about the bad things you've done and ask Jesus to help you fix them."

Then you place the bottom of the spoon over the top of the pepper and the pepper will stick to the bottom of the spoon. "This is all of your bad choices disappearing, " Kaysen tells us.

He did an awesome job and was so excited about it. We'll have to let him do lessons more often.

Our First Born...

Our first born son is exactly that. Jerry and I both know without a doubt that this boy was supposed to come to our family first.

He is a great big brother. He makes sure Gage is taken care of and safe. He loves teaching Gage new things and plays with him daily. Gage always wants to ride on Kaysen's back like a "horsie" and Kaysen always lets him do it.

He is a leader. His teacher at school calls him the leader. We like this because he was such a follower (and would do anything other kids did). We hoped he'd outgrow it and get a mind of his own. Jerry says he is going to be a good boss one day because he's always telling people how to do things. He's a bit OCD (from me probably). When kids come over and it's time to put the toys up he's right there telling them exactly where the toys go and does not like it much when they are put in the wrong place, and proceeds to put it in the right place. (again from me) When Jerry does something for them that I usually do (like make breakfast, cut apples, get them in the shower, etc.) Kaysen will tell him that "That's not how Mom does it." or "You're supposed to do this first (and will tell him how I cut the apple) and then this Dad." (and shows him the next step) He is a helper. He tells me that when the twins get here after his 5th birthday everything will be okay because he'll be 5 and a good babysitter. He tells me he will watch the babies while I bottle the vegetables from our garden.

He is just like his Dad and loves spending every possible moment with him no matter what they are doing. But especially loves building things or working on the truck with him and anything outside.


He is not lazy. He feeds Ruger every morning and night. He helps hoe weeds in the garden. He helps put up all of his clothes, makes his bed and cleans off his dishes when he's done eating.



He is determined and doesn't give up on what he wants.

He knows how to throw a fit and cop and attitude in less than a second but knows how to give a hug and kiss even quicker. He's constantly saying, "I love you, Mom." (Even when we are in the Wal-Mart bathroom in different stalls.) Then he'll tell me to say I love you so that he can say I love you too.

He has a memory that amazes me each day. He's always reminding me of something he did when he was 3 or 2 (that is how he tells how long ago it was). He'll even tell me what people were wearing, what they said, and where they were. He remembers strangers names even if he's only seen them once before. (This he gets from me. I'm often disappointed because I'll remember someone that I've met one time, and come to find that they don't remember meeting. Now I'm used to it though so I'm not as disappointed as I was as a kid.I can remember what each of my in laws wore the first time I met them nearly 9 years ago and what my sister wore the night she got engaged nearly 13 years ago.) He can remember what truck or car he saw and where it was. (This kind of memory he gets from his dad. Jerry can see tire treads on a vehicle, and then see the treads (often on our property when trying to figure out who has been there) and he knows who it is.)

The other night (just for fun and conversation with him) I asked him questions about people in the scriptures. I honestly thought that he'd get a couple right, but nowhere near how many he really did. Jerry praised my teaching skills when we were done, but I have to admit so much of it comes from his teachers at church. When we asked his who Joseph Smith was he said, "He's the prophet that prayed to know what church was good and then Heavenly Father and Jesus came to him in the woods. Then the angel Moroni came to him 4 times in the night and 4 times over the next 4 years." Whoa. That wasn't me teaching him. That was all his teachers. I just asked him all of them again because I wanted his exact words...here they are.

• Ammon was the guy who "pretected" the kings sheep and chopped off the bad guys arms then baptized the king."



• Jonah got swallowed by the whale for 3 days then got spit out and repented.



• Alma heard Abinadi, who got burned, talk to Noah, the bad king, and he ran away and taught people about Jesus.



• Alma the Younger fell on the ground and was asleep for a couple days then woke up and said sorry to everyone he was mean to.



• Samuel the Lamanite had bad guys shoot arrows at him but was "pretected" by Heavenly Father.



• The Brother of Jared saw Jesus' finger and it touched the rocks.



• Daniel (his favorite) was thrown in the lions den because he chose the right but he was "pretected"by Jesus.



• David threw stones at the big Giant.



• Lehi is the guy that had the Liahona, that compass thing outside his tent.



• Helaman had 2000 warriors that all lived.


• King Benjamin standed up on the tower.



• Mormon was the one that translated the commands, the golden plates.



• Nephi broke his bow and build a ship and shocked his brothers



• John the Baptist baptized Jesus

I really can't believe all the things this boy can remember. It sure makes Family Home Evening, scripture reading, and wrestling in church all worth it when I hear him tell me all he knows.

He is smart. He loves school. He can spell/write Mom, Dad, Gage, and Kaysen. He knows the sounds that most letters make and can count to 50. He loves spelling out letters and trying to figure out what those letters say. He is funny and imaginative. He can make a helmet, gun, knife, robot head (below made from Styrofoam cup) or anything else his mind thinks of at that moment out of anything he sees.


He's always making us laugh. Here's a recent funny story about him...

At dinner one night (the day we told him we were having twins) he slams both hands on the table and exclaims "Mom, you need to get another milker!" I said, "A what?" "A Milker Mom!! You know, like you used with Gage and put the milk in the bags in the freezer then put in bottles when he was a baby. Except now you'll need two!" Just for kicks I asked what a milker is again and he says, "That thing like Jennie uses on her goats, but its for people. You put it right here." (and proceeds to lift up his shirt to show me where to get the milk from) Jerry and I about died from laughing and told him not to share that with anyone. (Although we told many family members the funny story, we didn't want him going around telling people about his mom using a "milker" and where it is used)

He's our 4 year old boy that at most times acts much older. (besides when he's throwing a fit. Then he's a typical 4 year old.) He sits and thinks about things when he's been told something. It's great to see that look of concentration on his face. He wants to do what is right, and is always praying for "us to make good choices, not say bad words and that the babies in Mom's belly and her back may feel better and that she won't throw up." He's kind and is usually always thinking about something nice that he can do for someone else to make them not sad anymore.

Even during those moments when I'm about to go crazy from yelling at him for the same thing over and over, I'm still grateful that he was sent to our home. He's the best of me and Jerry together and we love him so much.

Tidbits of Yesterday...

We started off the morning watering our trees and garden and then...
being Super Man.

Followed by a nice (unplanned) water day at Grandma Miller's house.

Like I said...unplanned. Gage was running around in his pants that were soon covered with mud so we stripped him down to his undies and shirt, then eventually just undies. Kaysen finally gave in and borrowed a pair of swim trunks from a cousin.

Where there is water there is....MUD. And Kaysen sure found it. This isn't even the worst of it. A mere 5 minutes later his arms were completely covered in black/brown muck. He found the mud in the garden. Smelled wonderful. I sprayed him down with a hose before he was allowed in the car.



After Grandma's we headed to Speedy's to get a "Push Up Pop." My boys FIRST Push Up Pop. They were in heaven.



We headed home and were ready to wait the 2 hours until Dad got home from work, but instead we got an unplanned dinner invitation from Greg and Cayla.



The boys and I headed over to their house and Dad met us there after work. We ate PRIME RIB...mmmm. Salad. Potatoes. Asparagus. Pink Lemonade. Peach Cobbler.

Cayla and I proceeded to lose at Wahoo again. On Friday we had Greg & Cayla over for Mexican BBQ and we taught them how to play Wahoo. Men vs. Women. Men won first game and Cayla and I came out of nowhere and won the second. Then they won the third. So last night we were out for revenge but unfortunately we didn't have enough revenge built up in our system because we lost again.

We left their home at 10:30pm which happens to be at least 1 1/2 hours past my present bedtime. I think our whole family fell asleep within 2 minutes of our heads hitting the pillow. I got to sleep until 7:50 when my boys finally woke up. Jerry however had to get up at 5:45 for work. He's gonna be tired today.

So yesterday I loved that it was so beautiful outside (NO WIND and 76 degrees) that my boys were playing out there all day.

Then I loved that we had a delicious dinner with good friends.

Mostly I loved that I didn't even gag last night. (Night time is now the worst time for me but I may just be on the down hill slide now becasue it's slowly getting better)

Reactions...

I know...posts without pics aren't as fun to look at and take longer to read.

However, I realized that I want to document the reactions each of our family members had when we told them we were having twins. It'll be funny to look back on.

I've been horrible at taking pics of our life lately. I really need to quit being lazy. I am preparing two posts that are going to be specifically about each of my boys. I haven't documented on their current likes and dislikes, trials and such in quite a while. For now though, here are the reactions.

I was alone during the ultrasound that told me I was expecting twins. I tried calling Jerry immediately but he couldn't answer his phone at that moment during work. So I headed to my Mom's house since she was watching my two other boys.

I walked in her house and handed her the pics. She said, "Oh yay! You have a pic of the baby! How cool!"

I gave her just a few second to try and figure it out.

She said, "What's that?"

I said, "Read it." In the top left hand corner of the first picture is the word TWINS.

As soon as she read that 5 letter word she jumped up and down and hugged me. To say she was excited is an understatement. She could hardly contain herself. They will be grandchild number 11 and 12 for them.

We were kinda trying to keep it somewhat quiet becasue I didn't want my kids knowing yet, because I knew Kaysen would be telling everyone he saw that we were having twins. However, he walked up to us and said, "You're having 2 babies Mom." I said, "Who told you that?" He replied, "No one. That's what I say." I proceeded to deny it for the moment. But when Jerry and I decided to tell him a few weeks later that were were indeed having two babies he said, "Does that mean you have one in your belly and Dad has one in his?" Jerry and I just laughed and explained that both of them were in my belly and he said, "That's wierd. It's a boy and a girl." We'll just have to see if he is right.

Finally I got a hold of Jerry. He immediately asked how the ultrasound went and I told him good. I said, Just make a guess about something." He really didn't understand what I was trying to say and then said, "You already know what it is?" I said, "I have no clue what sex THEY are." He said, "What did you just say?" I said, "I just said that I have no clue what sex the babies are." He said, "Shut up. You're kidding." I said, "Nope. I'm, not and my mom is right here looking at the pics and can tell you I'm not kidding." He was just shocked after that. When I got home a few hours later he just looked at the pics and shook his head. he was still in a bit of a shock but admitted he was excited.

We then found my sister who was at lunch with her husband. I couldn't wait untill she went back to work, so I waited in the parking lot for 2 minutes until she came out. We showed her the pic and she said, "Your pregnant. I knew it would happen soon." Once again, I had to tell her to look more carefully and that is when he saw what was really on the picture. She said, "You're having twins!!" She then showed her husband who couldn't believe it either. She wanted me to go to her office to talk about it more. She just kept texting me that she couldn't believe her little sis was having twins.

We then tracked my Dad down at work and showed him the picture. He said, "I knew this was coming." I said, No you didn't. Look at it more closely now." He said, "Twins? No sh**?" (gotta keep the real word for emphasis. It's 100% my dad) Then said, "This means you're done right?" I just said I didn't know yet. I was still wrapping my head around twins.

I then called my fried Cayla and told her. (I know, so much for not telling a lot of people huh? Well we only told immediate family and this one friend at first. Then waited a few weeks to tell extended family and other friends.)
Cayla knew I was getting an ultrasound that day and when she saw my name on her phone but couldn't answer it she was worried that something may have been wrong. See, she happened to call me 5 minutes after I found out through ultrasound that we had lost our baby. So she was hoping all was well for me.
She called me back a few minutes later and said, "So, how did it go." I told her we were having twins. She said, "Shut up Charlsye." (in a real shut up voice. She didn't believe me at all.) I told her I wasn't kidding and then she started to believe me. She has always wanted twins and said if she can't have them at least I could.

The next morning we finally saw Jerry's parents and went over to Jeremy's metal building where they were working to share the good news with them. We showed Karen the picture first and she said, "Yay. You guys are having a baby." Once again. We had to tell her to read it. "TWINS??????" She said. Nelson, snapped his neck around and said, "REALLY?" and just smiled. (It takes a lot to get Nelson to really show excitement about stuff. He's a laid back guy. This was enthusiasm to us...haha :) ) Then Karen said, "Of all my kids, I never thoguht you two would have twins." Well either did we. Then she said, "This is going to be hard to keep quiet but I'll sure try." They will be grandchild number 21 and 22 for them. (all of whom live in Joseph City.)

We then told each of Jerry's siblings and each of them were excited. One of them actually asked if we were sure it was twins. We just showed them the pictures and said that's what we've been told. Each person we told (my family and his) remarked on how uncomfortable and big. They also mention that they weren't envious of us but would be there to help for sure.

When we finally decided to tell other people, we went to my Grandpa Bryants 86th birthday party. My cousin Rikki and I were talking about a house they plan on building and I told her we were planning on adding on to our house. She said, "What the two bedrooms isn't big enough." I said, "Well we are having twins so we will kinda be out room." She said, "So that's the story huh?" I said, "Nope. It's the truth." Then word spread like wildfire and I had to hurry and tell my grandpa. He's been a little irked that he has so many grandkids and none of them have given him a new great grandbaby in over a year. So when he found out we were having two he was sure excited. They will be number 38 and 39 I think, but I could be forgetting a few.

It's been fun telling everyone and seeing all the different reactions. Jerry's was my favorite I only wish it would have been in person. Then Kaysen's of course just made me laugh, as did most actually. Twins are something crazy to be excpecting but we found that so many people we talk to have a family member with them. They are more common than you think, but not any easier to have. And each person tells us how big that person got. Jerry's Unlce Rich's daughter had twins. He told me, "I've seen how uncomfortable women are at 8 months but it is nothing compared to what Jinny was. Her feet looked like elephant feet." Oh boy, the things I get to look forward too. :)

Lessons Learned...

WARNING: JOURNAL ENTRY Jerry and I got married in January 2005. I was a mere 18 1/2 years old. (like how I throw in that 1/2 year for extra measure?)

We didn't plan on having kids for about a year because really, we were young and wanted to get a bit more established. To make a long story short, I got of BC because it was messing my body up. We decided that it didn't matter if we had kids right away and that we were ready for it. In the back of my mind I expected us to get pregnant right away because EVERYONE else in my family gets pregnant in a snap. It didn't happen for a year. Which is exactly when we planned to start our family anyways but since we weren't doing anything to prevent it, I wanted it to happen much sooner than it did. That was a long year, but one I am grateful for. It gave Jerry and I a chance to just be a couple. Our own little family. It taught me patience and that Heavenly Father does know what is best for us.

Kaysen was born in October 2006 and we planned to start trying right when he turned one, just incase it took a while to get pregnant again. However, that year old birthday of his came around and it just didn't feel right. A few months later though, it did feel like the right time and one month later we found out we were already expecting our 2nd child. That was a surprise. I was preparing myself for a little bit of dissapointment in the next few months but that never happened. This time I learned that I needed to listen to the spirit and it would guide me to what was the right thing to do for our family.


When Gage hit the one year old mark Jerry and I decided that our hands were much to full for the present moment and that we weren't quite ready to expand our family. You see, having a 3 year old and a 1 year old can be quite hectic and I was ready for my life to slow down just a bit, for just a little time. So many people told me that the 3rd child was their hardest beacause they were outnumbered. They could only hold onto 2 kids at one time. Needless to say, I was very nervous to move onto number 3, even though I knew one day I would do it. I just wasn't ready yet.

Then Gage hit the 2 year mark and we felt like it was time to expand our little family. Once again, a month later we found out we were expecting our 3rd child and were due in June 2011. Then in late October we found out that we had sadly lost that child. This time I was taught that even when we do listen to the spirit, the outcome may not be what we expect and that Heavenly Father does still know what is best for us. I know that Jerry and I will have the chance to raise that baby in the eternities because we are sealed for time and all eternity to that child, along with any others we have. That baby fulfilled its mission in life and in the couple months that it was creating a body, I learned lessons I will never forget. Maybe that was part of its mission...to teach me. Amazing how as a Mother I learn my greatest lessons in life by the simple things my children do.

We were told to wait a few months before we should start trying so my body could heal. We waited the exact amount of months we were told ( I was impatient and wanting a baby badly) and the next month we found out we were expecting our 4th child. Then a few weeks later we found out that we were actually expecting 2 children. This experience so far has taught me once again that Heavenly Father knows what is best for us and he has much more trust in us than we have in ourselves. I'm absolutely scared to death to have twins. I know it will be much harder than just having one at a time. Yet, I know it will be so rewarding. I'm terrified that my two boys will feel lost. Thier world is about to be turned upside down and I want them to know that I sitll have time for them. Even when I may not feel like I have much time. I feel like my patience is tried enough as it is. Adding two more kids at once can only make my patience run thinner right? I guess that is what I get for praying for patience. Heavenly Father is bound to teach me to get it somehow. I'm terrified to have 4 kids with the oldest turning 5 around the time that our twins are born. I'm only going to be 25 years old with 4 kids. To me this just sounds crazy. Jerry and I always planned on having 4 kids and being done. But I can honestly say, (and yes I even think it is crazy) that we are not done yet. Sometimes 5 feels like our lucky number, but I'll be honest when I say that I'm trying not to even think that far ahead yet. I just have to focus on the present and take it a day at a time, if I do much more than that I go crazy.

I am a planner. And I have come to realize that the plans I have almost never turn out like I planed. However, so far they are much better than I could have ever planned. Even on the hard days. Thank goodness for a Heavenly Father who does know and want what is best for us. I don't know where I'd be without Him and don't want to imagine it either.

Top Things People Will Ask/Say When They Know You Are Having Twins....

In a book I started reading on multiple births I was warned that I would get some off the wall, rude, and funny comments and questions about expecting twins. Here are just a few of the ones I've heard in the few short weeks that we've known we are expecting twins.

• #1 Are they identical twins? No. There are 2 sacs with a baby in each sac meaning they are fraternal.


• #2 Which side of the family has twins? Neither. I have 2 cousins who had twins. One set was identical, one was fraternal. Jerry will be the fourth, first cousin on his dad's side to have twins in just the last 4 years. However, all of them are fraternal. Fraternal twins are not hereditary. Last time I ovulated I dropped 2 eggs and that is how fraternal twins are formed. It is nothing hereditary it just happened spontaneously.


• #3 When are you due? My due date is October 23rd but my doctor probably won't have me go past 37 weeks which would be October 2nd. We'll just have to see and hope that our babies will stay in there as LONG as possible.


• #4 Were we on fertility drugs? No. We were not on fertility drugs. Like I said above, it happened spontaneously and without us planning on EVER having twins.


• #5 I hear from 6 out of 10 people I talk to that they REALLY want twins. Jerry and I never wished to have twins. Not that we don't want them now, but we definitely didn't sit there and wish and hope for twins. So my only advice would be, if you want twins, quit wishing for them and maybe it'll happen to you. :)


• #6 Are we excited? Yes we are very excited. We were in shock for a bit and sometimes still when I REALLY sit and think about it I still can't believe it. We picture 2 of everything. We realize that our posterity is doubling and we thought the only time that would happen was when we went from 1 to 2 kids. But when we couldn't hear the heartbeat yesterday, I was immediately worried that one of my babies was lost and I couldn't bear it. I want BOTH of them to get here completely healthy and strong, even though I know it will be hard work. It will be amazing too.


• #7 "You're gonna get huge." Yes, these are the exact words that come out of some people mouths. Nice huh? Just what a woman wants to hear. Although I know that it is most likely true, I don't like hearing it be the 3rd thing come out of someones mouth after they hear we are having twins. It was the 2nd thing Jerry said after he found out, but he said it jokingly and truthfully I don't care that he said it because he's my husband and I want honesty from him. My doctor says I am to gain around 45 pounds. That is mind boggling for me because I gained 22lbs with Kaysen and 24lbs with Gage. But I have to remember that there is 2 babies in there needing fed. I'm sure it will be uncomfortable and harder to lose the weight but I'm doing Pilate's and walking daily. Hopefully that helps.


• #8 "You better lather up with Cocoa Butter" Once again, exact words coming out of people mouth right after they say I'm going to get huge. I only got one stretch mark with both of my boys. I have little ones on my hips that can only be seen when my skin is stretched but my stomach just has two 1/2" to 1" long marks on it and that's all. I've loved that my stretch marks aren't bad at all. Call me vain but I don't like thinking about what my stomach may look like when this pregnancy is over, but the scars are worth it although they are not flattering.


• #9 Vaginal or C-Section? Really? I'm only 10 weeks. I have no clue how they are going to get here. I'm hoping both come the natural way but whatever gets them here safe will work too.


• #10 How are you going to fit in your house? Our house is 1800 square feet including our garage. We are converting part of our garage into our master bedroom and adding a bathroom on the end. We will convert the other part into our laundry room/pantry. So with the new addition our house will be about 2100 square feet and that is plenty of room for 4 kids. Although I would love to have both, a family room and living room someday, but I want to save that for our "dream house" we still want to build. Plans change and that may not happen but that's still what we are aiming for.


• #11 Are you going to nurse BOTH of them? No. I'm just going to nurse one. Come on, really? When I nursed Kaysen I didn't have hardly any milk. I pumped because he wouldn't latch good so I got mastitis 3 times in 1 month. It was miserable. I only lasted 7 weeks before going completely to formula. With Gage I heard about an herb called FENUGREEK that works amazingly. I took it right after having Gage and I had more milk that I could possibly need and I'm going to take it again. I am planning on only nursing BOTH of my babies and hopefully I'll just be able to feed them both at the same time. I plan on pumping often, so that Jerry can get in on helping me with feedings but I want to do all or mostly my milk.

Some of these questions are a bit personal. But whatever, I'm putting it out there incase you're interested too. I haven't been mad about any of the questions but sometimes I really wonder what people are thinking. And I know it is only the beginning and I will be getting many more comments and questions in the next 20+ weeks.