He Hears Me....

Today was a rough day.

A day that makes me grateful for the fact that I have chosen to focus on the things that I loved about today. This way, maybe I'll forget the parts of today that brought me down.

First of all I hurt my neck and could barely move it for the past 3 days. The whole right side of my neck, starting behind my ear and into my shoulder made me scream in pain if even slightly touched. I have an amazing Visiting Teacher who is a massage therapist. I called her up and luckily she was available. Man was it great to lay there and get a massage. Not only that a FREE one, because of this... I have had back problems since July and found out my discs are deteriorating. My wonderful V.T. also gave me a massage in December when I could hardly walk. She wanted to do it for free. I wouldn't let her. She told me that I wasn't letting people serve me. That I need help and she feels she needed to give it to me, but I denied her that option. So this time she told me "no charge" and we had a little stare down and I said, "okay." And I admit that it did feel so good to let someone help me and I am so grateful for her help. So today I loved that I was able to feel the love that my V.T. has for me. She really is one heck of a lady.

I loved that everyone in my house is healthy and no longer sick.

I had to kinda search for a second thing to say I loved. Not because I don't love that my kids are healthy once again but because for some reason today I had this dark, grouchy feeling inside me. I didn't notice it was that bad until Jerry headed off to Snowflake for a basketball game. I wasn't mad the he went. Actually, I am glad he went. He has had fun playing his favorite sport again and this gave me a little bit of time to sort through my emotions.

I sat on the couch to try and wrap up Jane Eyre but I couldn't concentrate.

I suddenly realized that I have felt sad and depressed for no reason but couldn't do anything to change it.

I realized that I needed help.

I went to my room and asked my Father in Heaven to please let me read something in the scriptures that would let me know he is there and listening. I just really needed to know it at that moment...even though I already know it. Does that make sense??

I have started reading the Book of Mormon again this year. I was reading 2nd Nephi chapter 33.

I came to verse 3 and was moving onto verse 4 when it hit me.

So I read verse 3 again.

Then these words jumped out and filled my heart..."mine eyes water my pillow by night....and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry."

I instantly felt what I already knew. That He does hear me and He does understand me. Even when I may not understand myself.

So the third thing that I loved about today was that I was once again reminded of the love that my Father in Heaven has for me. It is a feeling that can heal anything. A feeling that I am so grateful to feel.

Sabbath Day...

Today I can't move my neck and my kids are just getting over their sicknesses.

Jerry is working nights and so he misses church because he needs sleep.


So, I opted to not go to church today.


My kids were confused.

Kaysen kept saying, "But Mom. Today is Sunday!"


I don't know how many times I had to explain to him that I didn't want them going to church and getting the other kids sick, incase he wasn't really over it.


He would reply, "But I don't have a fever anymore!"


Can you tell this boy loves church???

Man it makes me happy.

Kaysen gets excited when it is Sunday becasuse on this day we watch our "Sunday Movies." (the cartoon moves made by Living Scriptures.) This is the ONLY type of t.v. that is allowed on in our home on Sundays.

Gage doesn't like the rule all that much. He would much rather watch Diego, Mickey or Pablo. Each week he's getting better though and will finally pick one out when it is his turn.

On a Typical Sunday we would watch 1 or 2 before leaving for church at 12:30.

Today I think we watched at least 10.

The boys kept wanting to do other things like ride the 4 wheeler, go to the store, or play baseball. Then Kaysen would remember it was Sunday and say, "Ope. We can't do that can we Mom because it's Sunday. Man this sure is a LONG Sunday Mom."


So I pulled out my Hatch Patch F.H.E packets. I have about 10 more that I need to color, laminate and cut so we can start using them for F.H.E. My kids are finally getting old enough to understand the games...and it's making F.H.E. so much more fun.

Kaysen and Gage did a wonderful job helping me color. (no pics...oops.)

Kaysen had even more fun helping me glue some of the pieces together. They both loved watching it go through the laminator.




We did F.H.E tonight because Jerry has a basketball game tomorrow. We don't ever do F.H.E on the same night every week. That's what happens when your husband/father does shift work.

Jerry was in charge of the lesson and did it on hymns and how they can help us. He asked us to pick our favorite ones and sing them as a family.

Kaysen however wanted to sing his favorite one by himself....(ignore the messy house...it's Sunday...no cleaning :) )

Today...

On Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday night I got about 3 hours of sleep each night due to sick kiddos. I could have gotten more if I would ASK Jerry for help during the night. Seeing as how he has to get up early and go to work though, I often feel bad about making him get up. However, yesterday he had the day off and he doesn't have to go into work until tonight so he'll get a good nap this afternoon. Last night he offered (made me let him) to get up with the kids every time they awoke. I don't think he realized just how much they wake up sometimes though. (he's a very hard sleeper and won't wake up to any sound unless it's me telling him to)



So the first thing that I loved about today was that Jerry got up with the kids at least 8 different times during the night, gave them their needed medicine, calmed their cries and let me stay sound asleep. What a guy huh?


#2 I loved that when Jerry woke up this morning he said I was his "hero" because of the hard work that I do. He didn't realize just how much the kids can wake up sometimes. (may fault)He said between sick nights and Sundays at church(when he has to work) that I am his greatest hero. That was definitely great to hear. I know he appreciates me, but when he says it I just LOVE it!

#3 I love that my awesome sister in law knew that Jerry was working tonight and that I had sick kids so she offered to come over and watch my boys so that I could go check out a clothing botique that was going on tonight. She's awesome. Thanks Jennie!

And just because I am so excited I'm going to say a fourth thing that I LOVED about today. Gage had NO ACCIDENTS!!! Yay! He's doing amazing, even if I have to remind him to go and he's not really telling me all the time. He'll get there. He even woke up from a nap. Went to the bathroom and fell back asleep. I was stoked!

Yesterday...

This was a good week to start this new type of posting.

Gage has been having a fever since Monday night and we thought he was over it Wednesday morning but that night he cried in pain every 30 minutes, which made me think he had an ear infection. I tried all my home remidies to ease the pain and heal it but it didn't work. So we headed to his pediatrician and found that he does infact have an ear infection. Ugh poor kid.

On Wednesday, Jerry and Kaysen went out shooting and on the drive home Kaysen fell asleep. When he awoke his fever was 102.8 degrees. He was extremely mad that I would not let him go to preschool that day. Luckily Kaysen has just had a fever for 2 days and he seems to be better today. (crossing my fingers)

So I'm glad I'm focusing on the things I loved yesterday because man it has been a rough couple of days for everyone in our family.

#1 Yesterday I loved that we went to Show Low and got to each lunch with my mom. (at her house since kids were sick) It has been 3 weeks since we've been to Show Low (which doesn't sound long but man oh man my boys sure missed her).

#2 I love that we went out to the "Badlands" north of town and shot the .22, drove Jerry's RC race car and climbed some hills. Even though our kids were not feeling that well, they were so sick of being inside and it was a warm day so we decided that some fresh air would be good.

Gage could have cared less for anything but the hills. That boy would go hiking everyday if we'd let him.

Kaysen of course was in heaven because we played with his 3 favorite things...guns, cars and dirt.

(no pics of shooting, just videos that I don't feel like uploading at the moment) Jerry of course did good shooting. He never grew up doing this kind of thing but man he loves it now. He's really getting good and hitting pretty much every target. I on the other hand missed every targer (clay pigeon) my first 10 shots. My next 10 I finally hit 6 of them. I chose to stop there. 60% is much better than 0%. Still failing, but better.

Jerry's rc truck got stuck in the loose sand and Kaysen and Gage weren't too happy that Dad could run up that hill faster than them. They wanted to get it "unstuck."

#3 I love that my boys were fast asleep by 7:30pm and Jerry and I got to watch not just 1 but 2 movies together with no interuptions. I sure love our inexpensive little date nights :)

3 More About Today...

#1 Today I loved that Jerry had a day off so I was able to sleep in after being up way too much the past two nights with a sick child.

#2 I loved that Kaysen said, "Hey bud. You wanna watch Scooby Doo with me?" So they propped pillows up and wrapped themselves in blankets together and watched some Scooby-Doo so I could get the dishes done quickly.





#3 I loved how, when giving the boys a bath, Gage looked up at me and said, "Yuck Mom. Hair in yours nose." HAHAHA. (It made me a bit self concious. I kept asking Jerry if my nose hairs really were that noticable. Please don't look when you see me)

About Today...

I saw on a friends blog that they list things that they love for that day.

I've decided (once again) to borrow this good idea.

I think that by focusing on at least 3 things that I loved about each day, it will make me grateful for them. Because 3 things should be really easy to find, but sometimes those good things are put on the back burner and only the bad stuff about that day is focused on. (at least I'm guilty of doing this)

So....

#1 Today I LOVED that Gage only had 3 accidents and he went #2 on the potty! (I'm sure you really wanted to know that, but this is a journal so oh well. )

#2 I loved that Kaysen keeps showing me his imagination when he says, "Mom, they better be careful. If a dragon flew over their tall house they could breath fire on it and catch it on fire. Because they have a TALL house MOM!" followed by "Or they need to watch out for giraffes. They have LONG necks and can eat the roof of their house. That would taste nasty."

#3 I loved that I was able to soak in a nice hot bath and read a little bit of Jane Eyre, because my boys fell fast asleep.

Trial...

I've been putting off blogging about "my trial" for a long time simply because it is something I don't really like to talk about.

However, I've read so many blogs (many just today) that have spoke of the same thing and have told how much it has helped them. (Plus, so many blogs only show the good times in our life which can make all of our lives seem unreal in a way.)

So here it goes...

One mother of 5 has an acronym for it...I.W.A.N.

It means...I Want A Newborn.

Yep. That's right.

I want a newborn.

I've wanted one for nearly a year now.

For a few months I was even getting my wish but that changed instantly.

Many of you probably wonder why it's such a big deal for me to want another one when I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old to keep me busy.

All I can say is that my heart aches for one. To hold one all nestled up on my shoulder. To wake up for night time feedings (yes, those are even missed) and to bathe them in that wonderful Johnson & Johnson scent.

I know someday I'll have another one. But I'm sure not a patient person so this "someday" sure feels like forever.

I remember a time when I had been waiting for a year to have a newborn and then I was finally blessed with our first son. Then I worried it would take that long to have our next child so I was ready to start trying fairly soon. We got pregnant immediately. So I guess I was just naive this time and thought it would happen quickly again and instead put it off a while because 2 kids is quite a handful.

And really they are a handful. I'm potty training one, who just so happens to have an outrageous fever today. And the other one is learning how to talk back like crazy but he has also started saying, "I love you Mom" without me having to say, "I love you" first. It makes me melt every time.

And ass I'm sitting on my couch typing up this post, both of my boys are asleep. One on my shoulder and the other on my lap. (which causes for some very uncomfortable typing)I look down and see their enormous bodies (not really, but I can remember a time when they were small...well Kaysen at least. Gage was never that small but he was still my baby). Right now I absolutely love both of the stages my boys are in. Kaysen and I play so many fun games like Bingo and Memory together and Gage is my little lover who always cuddles. Yet, seeing these bodies just makes me yearn for a little one even more.

So until then...I.W.A.N (sorry Shawni for stealing your acronym if you see this :) )

Potty Training....

It's that time again...or at least I hope so....I think.

I remember potty training Kaysen and wanting to throw in the towel many times. And he was so easy when I look back on it. After 5 days he didn't have any more accidents. And he has only wet his pants/bed two times since. Once he got it, he got it.

We are on our 3rd day of potty training with Gage. It started out rought but now we have had a pretty successful afternoon with only one accident. But in order for it to be this successful he spent quite a bit of time just sitting on the potty as I read him books, etc. I'm trying to reward the kid with anything. He just doesn't really care. He loves any candy (as any kid does) so I thought for sure this would get him to cooperate a bit more. Nope. Sticker then? Nope. Movie? Nope. He says, "Mom pee" as he is doing it. Not before. Needless to say we are disinfecting many places in our home. :) I have a feeling he's going to be a bit harder than Kaysen, but I guess that's just one more way these boys are showing me they aren't the same person.

He's not too happy that I sat him on the potty right after waking up from a nap.

Trying to get a picture of him in big boy undies but he's not too keen on the idea. (this is only our 3rd pair today though and is 3:15!! yay! A major improvement compared to the last 2 days)

Wish me luck, or give me ideas on how you got your kids to do it. :)

Boogie Bag

For Christmas my sister in law got me A Mother's Book of Secrets (click to see). Earlier in the year I commented on how much I wanted to read a good book with ideas on how to become a better Mother and on how to help my children learn all the things they need to. Well she remembered and got me this amazing book.


It has so many good ideas in it.


I want to try all of them out.

However, that is somewhat over whelming so I've decided to start with one and then move to the next.

The first idea that I chose was to get a "Boogie Bag" for my kids. It is simply a pillowcase with a face drawn on it.

I have been so frustrated with just how many toys my 2 little boys manage to drag out of their room, into the living room and then leave them there, only to return with more toys.

By bedtime I'm so tired of asking my kids to clean up that I am really grouchy and I end up doing all of the cleaning. I hate putting my kids to bed, when I'm grouchy. I don't want their last thoughts before going to sleep being ones that wonder why I'm so grouchy, or ones that make them sad.

So we have beed doing the Boogie Bag before bed for 3 weeks now and I must say that the first few nights were rough.

Kaysen would scream, "I don't want it to go in the Boogie Bag!"

Which left me saying, "Then pick it up and it won't go in there" about a 247 times.

Gage on the other hand, didn't really care. That is, until his beloved shape blocks got put in there one night. He thought he'd get them back the next morning.

Nope. They stay in the bag for a week. Actually, by the time the week rolls around my kids have forgotten what toys are in the bag and its like Christmas all over again when they get them back.

Now, every night before bed Kaysen reminds me that it is Boogie Bag time and he's so excited when he sees that none of his toys have to go in the Boogie Bag. And he let's me know if we accidently missed one the next morning and puts it in the bag himself.

It has been so much easier to get my boys to do it on their own. (without me picking all of them up because they don't do it.) And mostly, without me yelling at them the whole time to do it.

This one littel idea has made our bedtime routine much much more enjoyable.

I will be trying out of the many ideas that are in this book and documenting them on my blog. I'm hoping that each one really does make me better at my "job" :)

chores

One of the reasons we got Ruger was for our kids to learn responsibility. We wanted our kids to have to feed any animals we may have and clean up after them.

I'd have to say that I thought it would be a fight (especially now that it has been nearly a year that we have had Ruger) to get our boys to feed Ruger. Instead it is a fight between the two of them on whose turn it is. (yay! That is a fight I can deal with)

Tonight Kaysen reminded me that we hadn't fed Ruger yet but also informed me that he could do all of it by himself. So I let him. Of course I had to follow along with the camera. (just to prove to him in 5 years that he did WANT to do it at one time)

Here he is racing Ruger to get the dish. If Ruger beats him there, Kaysen get licked to death as he is picking up the dish. Needless to say, Ruger always wins. (yuck)

Then here is Mr. Cool walking up with the dish so that he can give Ruger the "special" kind. (just the nasty can kind that he gets every other night instead of dry food in the white bucket)

And here is a blurry Mr.Cool informing me that I didn't need to come out there because, "Mom! I told you I can do it by myself!"

Handsome....

The kid did not want to cooperate when it came to taking a picture and showing off his new Sunday suite, but you can just imagine how handsome he looked!

First Snowman...

It is so sad to say that this is Gage's first snowman.

And it is also sad to say that this is Kaysen's second snowman. (his first being in Jan 2008)

You see, last winter I was in the process of moving and no good snow storms came along until after we moved. Now we live in the desert (pretty much) and we just don't get the snow accumulation of the White Mountain area where I was raised.

Here my boys wake up to 1-2 inches of snow on the ground and think they are in heaven and can create a HUGE snowman. They are sorely dissapointed when noon comes around and the snow is gone.

They stayed with my mom this past weekend and the snow hadn't quite melted yet so I made sure to pack their snow clothes (which don't get used here much, besides the boots they both love to wear everyday) My mom took pics of the boys with their snowman on her phone but unfortunately forgot to save the pics so all we have are pics of the snowman.

But man is Kaysen excited whenever he sees this picture. Him and Gage want to go to Grandma's house again to build another one. I'm hoping that can happen again this winter, because I'd love to be out there creating another masterpiece with them.

6 years...

On January 8th Jerry and I celebrated our 6th Anniversary! My Mom was awesome enough to watch our boys overnight so that we could celebrate. We headed down to the Suns vs. Nicks game. We had a ton of fun, even though the Suns played horrible. It was my first game so I enjoyed it and basketball is Jerry's favorite sport so of course he liked it.

The next morning we did sealings at the Mesa Temple. We haven't ever done them there and decided we'd like to since we were in town and didn't have kids to worry about. We always do sealings on our anniversary. It's a great way to remember our special day.

It sounds cliche but I can't believe it has already been 6 years. Okay, Okay. Sometimes it feels like we have been married much longer than that (in a good way) but most of the time I think of what else was happening 6 years ago and it's so crazy.

The past 6 years have been great. We've had our fair share of trials but in the end we get through them TOGETHER and that's what it's all about.

New Years Day 2011

While Dad was at work the boys and I celebrated New Year's...


We played a little bit of ELEFUN...(kaysen realized that if he stands closer to the top, he can get more butterflies faster...little cheater)

pretened to do homework...

shot some guns...

and met a real space ranger!

It was a kicked back kind of day...and a day that just so happened to be one of the best in terms of how my kids acted. Maybe I should play with them everyday like I did today :)