Update...

Last week I had a Doctors appointment for a routine check up and to go over the results of our ultrasound. (Turns out my Doctor thinks the ultrasound tech is right on, on presuming the gender of our babies.)

She informed me that the ultrasound showed that my cervix was only 3cm in length. She didn't worry too much but informed me that I needed to take it easy and that we'd get another ultrasound in one month to see if my cervix shortened anymore. If so, it'd be bed rest and possibly a cerclage for me. (i know, a little personal maybe, but this is my pregnancy journal too and I want to remember all the things we went through to get our babies here.) It could just be my body has a short cervix, it could just be from the weight of two babies, or it could be thinning too much too fast. However, I wasn't too worried because my Dr. wasn't too worried.

Then on Thursday I started feeling a tightness in my stomach and some lower back pain. I started drinking 8oz of water every hour thinking maybe I was just a little dehydrated. I had been cleaning a lot that day and the day before, and I had watched 6 kids that morning. So I sat down to rest too. The tightness didn't stop. Jerry got home from work and I explained what was happening. I told him I'd wait it out a bit and call the Dr. in the morning, unless things got worse. He gave me a blessing and I felt much more at peace. I was able to rest that night and thought everything was over.

Friday morning I woke up to a aching lower back and a tight stomach. So I called the Dr. I knew that if these really were contractions then my cervix would be getting shorter and that wasn't good news. She wanted me to head to Show Low for an ultrasound immediately. So I did. (side note: the babies were each around 8" in length)

I'm still waiting for the official results. The tech couldn't give me his measurements. We have to wait for the head radiologist to decide that and determine if it is different from my ultrasound on the 19th. It's Memorial Weekend so we won't be hearing the official report until at least tomorrow. After some reaserch I've found that the average woman's cervix at this stage is suppossed to be 4cm-4.5cm. Mine is around 3cm. Mine is the average length of a woman who is 32-36 weeks pregnant. So until we know for sure if it is shortening more (and for longer, not sure how much longer though) I have been put on "slight" bed rest. I am supposed to lay down for two straight hours each morning and afternoon and as much as possible in between. No cleaning, no exercising, no sitting for long amounts of time, no lifting. Basically, a lot of NO's.

I've done it. I've made myself stay down. It hasn't been easy. I hate having to ask Jerry to get me a cup of water when the cup and sink are 10 steps away. Or asking him to get a toweland wipe Gage's face off when Gage is sitting on my lap. I went to sacrament meeting but had to skip the other two. I was looking forward to our combined adult meeting when I would get to sit next to Jerry with no kids to worry about. However, my bed was calling my name so away I went. I hate that my floors are horribly dirty. Jerry will do them for me, he always does when I can't, or when I don't want to. It doesn't get done as soon as I would do them, but it gets done. Today Kaysen heard me say the floors needed vacuumed so he did it for me. I've learned to not be picky with my help. So what if he missed a few spots. He got the general area done and did willingly and wanting to help. He reminds me I need to keep the babies safe. He sure is an observant boy...and he's done a good job at reminding me of why I am doing this.

I just pray full bed rest doesn't happen in the future. This "slight" bedrest is bad enough. But I'll do it if it will keep our babies in there longer.

Play Doh Art...

Today we pulled out the play doh. It hasn't been used in quite some time and the last time it was used Kaysen was the only one interested in playing with it. That was not the case today. Gage was loving it. He made about 20 different animals, then cut them all up with a plastic knife.



Kasyen has been so much more interested in "art stuff" lately. He loves drawing and will actually try to draw by himself now, instead of asking Jerry or I to draw something for him. Today he initially set off making all of the dinosaurs he could. Then evolved into more intricate work.


I was sitting on the couch for a minute and he yelled, "Hey Mom! I made Jesus! Come look." So off I went to see what he created.

This is what he made....

The owl is Jesus on the cross. The red "t" is the cross and the blue rings around the arms are the cords they used to bind Jesus up on the cross. (I'm hoping this isn't sacrilegious.) My son has been so interested in the story of the resurrection ever since Easter and here he is a month later still remembering the story. So although Christ is depicted as an owl...at least my son is getting the point, in a round about way. He sure was excited and begged me to take a picture so we could show Daddy once he got home from work.

Go to Peep!

Last night Jerry and I got the boys down for bed. They weren't all that tired yet since they both got a nap earlier, but it was bedtime (8:00pm) and we stick to bedtime around here. (most of the time) It's the only way I can survive right now, and it's much less of a fight. They know its at the same time each night and rarely fight it. I LOVE it!

After we got them to bed, like usual, Jerry and I laid in our bed and talked. It's the only time we have to really talk without kiddos crawling all over, screaming, tickling, laughing and joining in on the conversation.

After some time, Jerry got up to open our door and the boys door (which is directly across from ours). We close their door each night and then open it once they are asleep. Otherwise, they see the lights on in the house and it takes much longer for them to fall asleep. Most nights Kaysen is asleep within 5 minutes. Gage on the other hand is awake for at least 30 minutes if not an hour. He stays in his bed the whole time, but he talks or sings to himself each night. It is fun to listen too. However, we do have to tell him to be quiet and go to sleep a few times each night. Last night we said it quite a few times. I warned Jerry not to open their door yet because Gage wasn't asleep yet and he would hear us talking. He didn't listen to me. Oh well...

So he came back to bed, left our door open also and kept our light on. Gage could see our light on and could hear us talking.

Suddenly we hear, "Hey kids. Be quiet and go to peep." (sleep)

We just started laughing.

Then we heard, "Hey Mom and Dad. Quit laughing and be quiet. I'm trying to go to peep." (sleep)

We wispered for a few minutes longer about our boys and the great things they do that make us laugh, this one I just had to document. I hate forgetting all their funny moments and know I've forgetton so many already. So here is one more that we can remember for quite some time....

The Results are in....

We got to see our babies yesterday!

Here they are head butting (sp?) each other. They are in seperate sacs, but there is just a little membrane that seperates each sac and they just lay there and rub heads with each other the whole time.

They label twins as "Baby A" and "Baby B". Baby A being the baby that is closer to my cervix and most likely to be born first.

(The pictures may not be that great of quality. We got some printouts but we also got all of our pictures put onto a CD. The CD only works with this program that was downloaded onto the CD. We can't transfer the pictures over to our computer or any other device. :( So many of these pictures are pictures of pictures.)

So here is a profile picture of Baby A.

Here the ultrasound tech was getting photos of the heart and the baby put the hand up to the mouth and started sucking it. Then took it waved to us and then yawned. Kaysen loved seeing that part.

And here is a rear end shot...notice what's missing???

Just incase you didn't get it from the above photo, here is a between the legs shot....
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So we are told that Baby A is a GIRL!!!!!! Her heartbeat was measuring 138 bpm and she was constantly moving around. I can feel her on the right side of my belly and I knew she was the active one. She is the one constantly pushing against me.

Here is a profile picture of Baby B.


And here is Baby B stretching one arm so long.

And here is a rear end shot of Baby B. See what isn't missing???

Just incase you missed it again...here is a between the legs shot.

(children forgive me for broadcasting this...but I have to show everyone what you are!)

So we are told Baby B is a BOY!!!!! His heartbeat was measuring 141 bpm. He is a little more chill than his sister. He didn't move around too much but he sure did let us know he was a boy. But other than that he didn't want to show us too much of himself.

Kaysen is wanting me to let everyone know that he was right! We brought our boys with us to the appointment so they could see the babies. Kaysen was loving every minute of it. Gage loved the first few times he was able to see them and then lost interest.

The ultrasound tech said that he would be 90% sure that Baby A is a girl and 99% sure that Baby B is a boy. We are just hoping that he is right. It sure looks that way to us too. We'll be getting another ultrasound in about 6-7 weeks and at this time we will definitely know for sure, if they show us themselves and haven't begun to run out of room.

We are so excited because deep down this is what we wanted. Right from the start we wanted one of each so that they could be their own person a bit more. They'll have different friends, interests and not so much competition but hopefully they will still be best friends. Plus we could only agree on one boy and one girl name.

I already went to the store and bought 2 preemie outfits each for when we bring them home. When Kaysen was born we bought a newborn outfit to bring him home in and he was swimming in it. He was 7lbs 9oz when he was born. We learned our lesson. Gage was 7lbs 3oz and luckily we bought a preemie one again and it fit just right for bringing him home. We are betting our twins will probably be much smaller than our boys were so we know they'll fit in preemies for a bit. It was so fun picking out both kinds of clothes. But I'll admit that finally buying girl clothes for us was great. I'm going to have so much fun!

I'm lucky because my cousin has two girls and is done. I am buying her bumbo chair with tray, vibrating chair thing, (you know what I'm talking about right?), car seat and some cute clothes. That will defitinetly save us some denero. (sp?)

It was amazing to see how much our babies have grown and we are so excited that they both look healthy and strong. That's all we really want.

Take a Guess...

Tomorrow we find out what our babies are....if they cooperate.

Kaysen still says one of each.

Gage just says babies.

I say there is at least one girl...this could be just me wanting a girl though :)

Jer doesn't have a a clue but also hopes for at least one girl.

What do you think?

Our Sponge...

Kaysen wants to choose the right. He doesn't always do it, but he wants to. He also watches people. I mean everyone. (so watch out) He ABSORBS everything he sees and really ponders all of it. Lately he has been on this "choosing the right" kick.

"Mom, the store shouldn't sell beer because then people drink it and that's not choosing the right."

"Why do they have cameras in the store?" I tell him it's because they can catch people who might be stealing items from the store. "Oh, but all they have to do is go get their money to pay for it. It's not choosing the right to just steal it."

"What is Captain Hook smoking? Why does he smoke? He's not choosing the right."

"That guy is riding his four wheeler and today is Sunday, Mom. That's not choosing the right."

"That girl is showing her chest Mom. Where are her garments? It's not nice of her to show everybody her privates." (This one he said a bit loud, in line at Safeway."

"Why doesn't Grandpa go to church?" This one is really hard for him to understand. He just thinks everyone goes. I explain that Grandpa doesn't want to, and Heavenly Father doesn't make us go. We just choose to go because it make Heavenly Father and us happy. He replied, "Is that why Grandpa is grouchy sometimes?" (haha. My dad isn't necessarily a grouch. He just doesn't walk around with a smile plastered on his face."

"Why doesn't she have a husband? She has kids and they have to have a Daddy so where is he?" I told him that this lady is divorced. "What does divorced mean?" I tell him that it means they aren't married anymore. He was instantly sad and then sat on the couch and began thinking and said, "Then how will they all live in heaven together?" and "Does everyone get divorced?"

Last night I was reading to my boys. There are shapes that you take out of the book throughout it and then find where they fit in the back of the book. Gage loves the octagon. Kaysen knows this. However, he snatched it before Gage could he think about getting it. I said, "You know the octagon is Gage's favorite one. Was it nice to just snatch it or should you take turns? Remember, last time you had it." He sat quietly but quickly said, "Oh ya. Here ya go bud, it's your turn." Then turned to me with a bright smile and said, "Mom! This time I choosed the right!"

I stubbed my toe. Hard. This is one of the instances when a curse word comes flying out of my mouth. I can hold in cussing when holding conversations. Really. I just don't cuss. However, when I stub my toe, hit my head or am a little frustrated, every now and then a curse word come flying out faster than I can think. So as soon as the toe was stubbed I said, "Gosh D***** that hurt!" Kaysen whips his head around to look at me with horribly sad eyes and says, "Mom, that's a bad word." I told him sorry, and that I wouldn't say it again.

Then, Jerry was getting frustrated with the boys for not cleaning up their toys and from getting after them for many things one day. He doesn't curse either. However, in the heat of this particular moment he did say "s*** He turned around to see Kaysen staring at him, with tears in his eyes, and Kaysen said, "Dad, don't EVER say that word again." Jerry said, "Yeah, I know bud. It's a bad word and I'm sorry I won't say it again."

In these last two instances Jerry and I were the ones being corrected by our son. He pays so much attention to everything we do. We need to do better at watching how we act, so he'll know how to act. He always prays that we'll make good choices and be like Jesus. Although he is noticing things done by others and he is judging them, for now I don't mind. We just explain to him that people can make their own choices and we need to love them regardless. Just like him, and that he doesn't always make the right choice. Thank goodness we have this little boy that wants so badly to do what is good, it helps us do what is good more often.

16 weeks....

We find out what "the twins" are one week from today.

Yay!

I really wish it would have been this week. Jerry is taking Kaysen and Gage to Father and Sons to go camping tomorrow and Saturday. My mom and I are making a trip to the valley. I really wanted to know what we were having so that her and I could have fun splurging and getting all kinds of fun new things. Looks like another trip is going to have to be planned.

I haven't posted a picture of how I look yet. Mostly because I mostly just look like I'm gaining weight. If you didn't know I was pregnant that is what you'd think at least. Now, I'm finally getting a bit of a "poke" as Kaysen calls it. I'm still not able to fit in my maternity clothes. They just fall right down. However, all of my pants and shorts are no longer buttoned...or zipped (much). My regular shirts however look awful. Kaysen pointed out that "right there is bigger too, Mom" as he points to my love handles. Yay :) So here I am...photo courtesy of Kaysen Miller photography.

Now when people see me they say, "You're finally showing!" Then they ask how far along I am. 16 weeks...and they realize that I'm bigger than most are at 16 weeks. Really? Maybe it's because I have TWO in there. Don't think I get mad though....I just know I'm going to hear this a lot more.

At this stage, most women with singleton pregnancies can feel the top of their uterus about 1 to 1 1/2" incehs BELOW their belly button. Mine is right at the TOP of my belly button. Each baby is about 5 inches now. So that's 10 inches that are taken up inside my belly. I have a feeling I am going to be pretty amazed at what my body is going to be able to do.

I actually totally love the pregnant look (as long as it looks pregnant) and can't wait to see what happens.

On the up side...I have been sick in 2 weeks!!! I still get a bit nauseus from time to time...and gag a little with HORRIBLE smells. Other than that though I'm great. My energy level is back up. I able to make it through the day without a nap. I can stay up and talk to Jerry before bed and I can wake up early and exercise. I've been feeling wonderful and just hope it stays like that.

So, we'll be getting back to you next week to let you know what gender our babies are. We can't wait!!!!!

Mother's Day 2011

On Sunday morning I woke up to my two boys running in my room, just like every morning.

They crawled in bed and snuggled up close to Jerry and I, just like every morning.

Then Kaysen remembered what day it was and asked, "Mom, where is the jam?"

I told him it was in the fridge and off he ran yelling, "Don't get out of bed Mom!"

Jerry (slowly) got out of bed too, to offer assistance.

A few minutes later Kaysen brought in a plate with two pieces of toast and (a lot of) homemade strawberry jam. Beneath the plate was a homemade card completely made by him. It said, " Mom. I love you." Kaysen and then wrote the numbers 1-10 and some shapes. It was an awesome card.

"Happy Mother's Day" he said. "I did it all by myself. Well except Dad did the butter cause that was hard. But I put it in the heater (toaster) and put the jelly on too."

I took a bite. Then he grabbed a piece and took a bite and said, "You'll share, right Mom?"

So we sat in my bed and ate toast together.

All week he told me that he was going to make me breakfast on Mother's Day. "But Mom, I can't do cereal cause I'll spill the milk. I can't cook eggs cause I'll get burnt. But I can do toast!"

Then on Friday he made it known that he would make me breakfast on Mother's Day but he wasn't going to tell me what it was because it had to be a surprise.

After we ate toast we went out to the kitchen to find Dad whipping up some whole wheat pancakes, juice and bacon. It was delicious.

Gage proclaimed, "Happy Mother's Today, Mom!"

We relaxed until it was time for church. Kaysen could hardly wait because the Primary sang a Mother's Day song and he was so excited to do it. Gage was mad that he didn't get to go up the step and sing too.

After church we headed to Show Low and had a wonderful steak dinner with my Mom, Dad, and sister's family.

The best part of Mother's Day was the day before when Jerry surprised me with a date.

He had to work on Friday night so on Saturday morning when he came home he took a 3 hour nap. If he sleeps any longer than that he can't sleep well at night.

Before he went to bed he asked what our plans were for the day. I had none. Except cleaning and laundry. He named off things like the garden, watering the trees and getting groceries. So this is what I prepared myself for.

However, when he woke up he told me he was glad I got ready because we were going on a date. I replied, "Uh huh" and laughed. Apparently, he called our neice the day before and set it all up.

So off we headed to Flagstaff. We ate lunch at August Moon, a delicious chinese restaurant. Then we headed to Fast Five. This part he definitely did for him. He loves cars and although he admits the acting is horrible in some of the "Fast and Furious" movies, he just loves looking at all the cars. I didn't mind. I actually thought the movie ended up being better than I thought. Then we went to Cold Stone Creamery for some wonderful ice cream.

He didn't understand just how excited I was to go on this date. I didn't have anything to do with ANY of the planning and I LOVED it. The surprise was great and was a wonderful Mother's Day gift.

I'm grateful for this chance that I have to be a mother. Although many days I'm pulling my hair out, yelling 90% of the day and feel like I'm losing my mind about as much...it is all worth it. These little boys are worth all the hard days and these two little ones we'll be bring home in a few months will be hard but worth it all too.

p.s. We find out what the twins are on May 19th!!!

A Cry in the Night...

At approximately 3:35am I was brought out of my slumber to the sound of screaming. Not just the normal, "Mom!" sound. I mean an absolutely scared scream. It came from Gage. Many times all a scream from him means is that he is tired but needs to go to the bathroom. He doesn't want to wet the bed, but he doesn't want to get out either. I thought this was the reason for the scream although this scream was a bit different.

I went into his room to comfort him and try to talk him into going to the bathroom and he just kept saying, "I want kabiblaboibl" I really had no clue what the boy wanted. He was crying so hard I couldn't understand him and this just made him even more angry. I convinced him to go to the bathroom thinking this might help him. It calmed him down while he did his business but then the cries came back tenfold.

So I started throwing out words like, mom, dad, drink, bathroom, bear. Each one was met with a resounding "NOOOOO! I want kabkidelies" Finally, I said, "You want Kaysen."

"Yes" was the answer in the most sincere voice. So, we went into his bedroom and I showed him that Kaysen was sound asleep on his bed. This pacified him enough to get back on his bed, and was soon relaxed. Kaysen however was awake and let me know it when I started walking out the door. How could he not be after those screams? He asked what was wrong with Gage and I told him that Gage just wanted him. Kaysen replied, "It's okay Gage. I'm right here in our room by you bud." Gage replied, "Okay." To which Kaysen said, "I love you bud" and Gage sweetly said, "I lub you tooooo."

I laid on my bed wide a wake for sometime after that thinking of how much that little episode touched me. I remember being pregnant with Gage and secretly hoping for a girl so that I could have at least one of each. As soon as I knew he was a boy I was excited about the fact that they would be good friends one day. I just pictured that day being when they were quite a bit older. However, a bond has been there from day one. Those boys know each other inside and out and love each other unconditionally and it couldn't make me happier.

Even when this bond makes me wake up from a blissfull night of sleep. :)