Day to Day Parenting....

Just a warning...this is a LONG post with no pictures (currently) and it consists of family stuff that may be boring to the average reader, but important to me.

I got this idea from another blog...who got the idea from another blog, etc.

I really liked it, so now I'm going to do it. I'm going to write about the routine things and about the day to day parenting that Jerry and I do now. That way, when our kids are older, they will know what we felt as parents, what we did, how we disciplined, how we loved and laughed and much more. My plan is to do this at least once a year. Right now, is the perfect time to start because in a couple days our world, as we know it, isn't ever going to be the same. Kaysen and Gage will forget the time when it was just the two of them as our kids.  So I want them to know just how it was. As for the twins, I want them to know what it was like before they came...and after.

So far, I have done really good at documenting our lives. I have made blog books since 2006.  However, the first couple years are mostly just pictures with a story about what was going on in them.  I thought that would be enough to show my kids what life was like when they were growing up.  Upon reading this other blog I realized that these books are good, but they aren't enough.  The pictures don't say how we feel. They don't say what happens behind the scene. They mostly show the good times, which is definitely what we have more of but they don't show the day to day. My last blog book was better and showed a bit more of that, but I believe that doing this, at least once a year will help our kids know and remember a bit more of how our life was as they grew up. 

 I often wonder what my parents felt.  If my parents would have written something like this I know that I wouldn't feel "alone" some days. Instead I could read their words and say, "Wow. They REALLY did feel like this too."

How in the world did my Mom do it? Most of the time, my Dad was out of town working, my mother worked full time. Yet she always made sure and put us kids first.  I never once felt like her work came first. She never (that I can recall) missed games or tournaments. My Dad missed some of my older siblings games, because he was an out-of-town worker at the time. However, by the time I was in high school, he was present at most of my games.  How did he feel about missing those games, working miles away and only being home late at night or most often just on the weekends?  

I don't have it in me to be a "single mom" for part of the week. I know I don't.  My mom is definitely tougher than I am.  Jerry says he'd hate to be a father working so far from home.  That's the reason we moved to this small town.  The 56 miles was just too much for us.  He missed eating meals with the kids, watching them play, and all of the little things he'd hear about them doing, from me, because he was gone so much. 

So here it goes kids. This is how we currently roll in the Miller home, but I know it is soon to change.

Each morning you guys wake your Dad (if he's not up for work) and I up by running out of your room and yelling "ROAR!!!" or "BOO!"  Sometimes Kaysen, you'll crawl quietly into our room and come along the side of our bed and make the sound of a coyote or some other kind of animal, depending on what type of mood you are in.  Then we lay there with you two boys trying to mash in between your Dad and I, and we'll  talk, and play for about 30 minutes, (sometimes if Dad and I are lucky it's even longer) then you boys will pronounce that it is time to eat breakfast. So off we go to eat. Kaysen, you will mostly pick something different each day, from pop tarts, to cereal to fruit. Gage, you have your favorites and that is usually Apple Jacks, Cookie Crisp or Fruit Loops. Every now and then I can get you to eat something different and a bit more healthy, but not usually.  Unless it's scrambled eggs...then both of you will eat them up very fast.  Most Saturday's or Sunday's we'll have Mickey Mouse pancakes, waffles with fruit, biscuits and gravy or french toast. 

After breakfast you both get dressed, make your bed, brush your teeth and feed Ruger. Kaysen's job is to unhook Ruger and to give him food. Gage's job is to dump out his water and get him new water.  You both do it each morning with hardly any reminding.

Both of you boys are currently in preschool and go Monday through Wednesday. Kaysen goes first in the morning.  Each morning when I drop Kaysen off at school Gage, you will ask me if you can go inside too. I've let you come many times, but the past couple mornings I've had to say no and end up leaving you in the car instead. The reasoning behind is because when it is time to get back in the car, you decide to run away from me, knowing full well that I CANNOT run after you at this time.

While Kaysen is gone this leaves 3 1/2 hours that I get to spend with Gage.  Normally, this would be heaven.  However, I am on bed rest so it gets a bit boring for you Gage.  You would love to just sit and watch cartoons all morning but I only allow you to do this while I am getting ready.  Then the t.v. comes off and we play.  You are getting restless. You want me to be able to wrestle you, give you horseback rides and go run outside. Oh, how I wish I could do all those things again.  Instead I try and entertain you with books, coloring, painting, play dough, Uno Moo or some other game that can be done as I lay down.  Each day you ask me when it's going to be time to pick Kaysen up from the school bus.  I believe that he is much more fun to play with than good 'ol Mom. 

After we pick Kaysen up from the bus, we hurry home and eat lunch.  Most days you boys want a picnic.  This consists of laying a blanket out on the living room floor and eating lunch as you watch a movie.  Kaysen, your favorite thing to eat is a cheese sandwich with miracle whip, sometimes you'll let me do turkey or ham with it. You always eat your sandwich before you eat your sides, which usually consist of chips, crackers, or fruit. Gage, you on the other hand love to eat the sides first.  Yet, each day you say, "Mom. I won't just eat the chips (or whatever the side is). Eat my sandwich first." Then you proceed to get too caught up in those yummy sides and I'm telling you to take a bite of your sandwich for the 47th time.  Gage, you are the one to remind us, at every meal, that we need to pray first though and will always say oops if you have taken a bite before the prayer has been said. 

Once lunch is finished we just a have a little bit of time to get Gage ready and off to school.  Kaysen, you'vee been my nap buddy lately.  We lay on my bed and play a few games of Go Fish, Uno Moo, or Memory then we decide it's time to rest our eyes.  It sure has helped me.  I'm not nearly as drained of energy, nor am I as grouchy.  Once nap time is over, we're off too school to get Gage. 

Each day Kaysen too asks me if he can go in the school.  So you and I currently have an agreement, which many times, you seem to forget.  Our agreement is that you are not allowed to play and hang on the railing on the stairs in the school.  If you do hang on them, then you are not allowed to come inside the next day.  So far, I'll be honest, I am exasperated on this issue. Every other day you are allowed to go inside. Every day that you are allowed I ask you, "What is our agreement?" You'll reply, "To not climb all over the rails." I'll ask you what your consequence is if you do it and you'll tell me that if you do it you do not get to come back in the next day.  Yet, each day that you are allowed to come in, you are climbing on those rails within 30 seconds of being inside. Then you'll start crying when I tell you that you can't go in the next day.  I really thought that you'd learn but we've been doing it for the past 2 weeks and it's the same thing every day. Hopefully someday soon you'll get it...until then I guess we'll just keep this cycle going. 

As a side note: This is what your Dad and I are having the hardest time teaching you right now. That you're actions have consequences and to learn to listen. You teacher at school has recently mentioned that you aren't listening as well as you used to. You were one of her best in class, now that isn't the case.  Many nights I am at my whits end and just really don't know what to do with you.  It seems we've tried everything, but obviously not.  We're just waiting for some guidance to let us know what to do with this stage you are going through in your life. 

After you boys are done with school you just play together.  Which can be heaven...or the opposite. Just depending on the moods you are in.  You guys will be best friends or worst enemies.  Kaysen, you are the pest that will tease and do anything, like take his blanket, tickle or scare him, to make Gage scream.  Gage, you are the one that will just scream and whine about anything your brother does to you.  This is another thing that currently drives your Dad and I crazy.  We don't know what to do about it.  Kaysen needs to stop being a pest, and Gage needs to stop crying about so many little things.  So I've taken an idea from a book I've read and we are trying it....

It is called the Repentance Bench.. We just recently bought a bench that holds blankets inside, that we placed in our entry. Both of you have to sit on this bench each time you have a fight.  Neither of you can get off of the bench until you tell us what YOU personally did wrong.  Not what your brother did wrong.  Each of you are quick to point out what the other did, and to justify what you did.  Once you can tell us what YOU did wrong, you have to say sorry and give your brother a hug. Once this is done, you can get off the bench.  Let's just say that both of you have had to stay there for quite some time lately.  I'm hoping this works as good in our family, as it did for the author of the books I've been reading. 

Once Dad gets home he plays with you guys and has you help him work.  He's great at it...especially since he knows you haven't been able to play with me like we'd like.  He takes you on 4 wheeler rides, plays T-ball, catch, climbs the hill behind our home, picks the garden, waters the trees and anything else that can be done outside.

Soon dinner time comes around and we'll all sit down to eat.  Kaysen, you've finally out grown the stage of not eating and are doing superb.  You have to be one of very few kids who eat their vegetable FIRST at least 90% of the time.  You seriously love pretty much any vegetable and many times will ask for more once they are gone. We love it!! (you must take after me on that one...not your Dad.)  Gage on the other hand is our picky eater and always has been. I used to not make you eat so much of the vegetables or what ever it was you didn't like, but now I'm making you eat pretty much all of it.  Hoping that someday you'll acquire a taste for it, if not, at least you're getting the stuff you need now. 

Your Dad and I are not lenient when it comes to eating meals.  Some may say we are too strict. We give each of you a certain portion (that really is not much most of the time) and if that isn't gone, you don't get a snack.  Our philosophy is, if you are too full to eat your meal, you are too full for a snack.  We've had many nights lately where Kaysen gets to eat some ice cream, popcorn or jello while Gage is still sitting at the table fighting about finishing up his meal.  Now Kasyen instantly knows that he won't be getting a snack if his meal isn't gone so it isn't ever an issue...hopefully Gage will grasp the concept soon too and all of us will be getting some yummy snacks. 

After dinner is over, we play for a bit then it is time to clean up.  For this we bring out the Boogie Bag...which I got the idea from the same person I got the Repentance Bench (and this post) from.  We actually haven't had to even bring out the Boogie Bag for a couple weeks now because both of you have gotten so good at picking up your toys before bed. 

Then it's off to the shower.  You guys take one together and have fun in there but many nights you still want to play in a bath instead.  Sometimes we let this happen, depending on how nice you guys ask.  You see, a shower is just much quicker and easier for me. It's selfish. I know. You boys love bath time. However, the mess is often too much work for me. It's not so easy for me to get up and down right now, so maybe someday soon we'll do baths a bit more often. 

By 8:00pm you guys are getting in your pajamas. Each night you guys take turns chosing who picks the book that we will read before bed. After the book we each read a verse of scripture...we are currently in 1 Nephi 15.  We started reading scriptures as a family in June or so and have rarely missed a night.  You boys love to read the scriptures and even ask us to read them at random times during the day.  Whoever chose the book also gets to say the bedtime prayer so we kneel as a family at one of your beds and say a prayer.  Then your Dad and I will sing you a song before bed. If it is Gage's turn to pick the song you can bet he'll pick "I Am A Child of God." If it is Kaysen's turn you get a bit more variety but it is usually "I Love To See the Temple" or "A Child's Prayer."

Then it's lights out and you guys are both AWESOME at staying in your bed and going to sleep. Kaysen, you will fall asleep within 10 minutes tops. Gage, you will stay up and talk and sing to yourself for a good 30 minutes (if not more) before you finally give in. 

So this is our daily routine...for the most part. 

Sunday's are about the same, except we go to church.  Right now Jerry has been on his own with you boys.  He's telling me I am his hero now. I used to have to take you both  by myself two Sundays a month while your Dad was at work.  So now your Dad knows what a task it is.  Kaysen, you have been much easier lately though and mostly sit and draw, but are mostly pretty quiet. Gage, you on the other hand have been so hard to get to sit still.  You just want to climb all over us and play.  We are really trying to teach you how to sit still but so far, nothing we do is sinking in. (although your preschool teacher says you do well there).  The only thing that gets you to sit still longer than two minutes is to have you eat something. So we still bring apples cut up (because it lasts longer) and some crackers.  Once those are gone...you're wild once again. Your Dad and I just have to remind each other that Kaysen was the same way and that one day....yes one day...you will out grow this. 

Your Dad and I each have a couple things that we do with you boys and here they are now...

As I lay on the couch I will pretend I am asleep and then you guys will run over and give me a big kiss and it wakes me up. I'll quickly grab you and start tickling you all over.  You both could play this game for a LONG time. 

You will both stand at the oven in the kitchen and count to 10 while I hid.  Then, when you guys get close to finding me I'll jump out and scare you guys.  Kaysen, when you want a turn to hide, you are finally being quiet and hiding, however, you usually choose the same place every time so Gage finds you pretty quick.  Gage, you pick the same place, usually under a blanket and you are laughing the whole time you are hiding and you jump out before we even get close to you.  You're just too excited to hide. 

You guys love to give your Dad a "ticket" to do flips on his legs.  This is a long standing nightly tradition that you guys beg for and your Dad gives into 99% of the time.

So onto how your Dad and I feel about being parents at this moment.  We are loving it but also realizing that it is only getting harder...not easier.  We cannot discipline you guys the same way because you guys don't handle the punishment the same.  Kaysen, you HATE having to bite soap. So that is a common thing that you will get if you are in enough trouble.  Gage on the other hand just swallows the soap and gets over it like its not biggie.  Time out is a bit more effective with Gage, but mostly taking a privilege like t.v. away has been working a bit better.

We are still trying to figure out what makes you guys tick. And we are having a hard time of it too but we hope that you guys understand that we really are trying...and we are learning. We are NOT perfect and don't profess to be. We just hope that what we are doing is right and that we are teaching you both all the things that you guys will need to learn before you are on your own.  He hope we are teaching you the gospel as much as possible and know that we'll mostly do that by example...hopefully we'll do a good job of that.  We love you both more that you'll ever possible know and understand and pray that we show that love to you daily.