Know It All...

I just learned a new lesson when it comes to marriage. I was folding laundry. Namely whites, which happen to be my least favorite to do. As I am putting away Jerry's socks I see money laying in the bottom of the drawer. I worried that it was grocery money that got placed on the wrong spot. Then. I realized it may be money for my gift. You see, all the bill paying and checkbook balancing is done by me. We go over our budget together but every transaction is seen by my eyes. This makes it hard for Jer to be able to get me gifts without me knowing what it is. So, I wondered if this was money for that reason. Then I wondered how he would have gotten it out of our accounts without me noticing it. I pushed the idea aside for a bit. It wouldn't leave my mind for long though. At dinner I brought it up. Instantly Jerry looked disappointed. Turns out he took the mula from our secret stash of emergency money while i quickly jumped in the shower one day. He did so with the intent on replacing it after Christmas. That way I wouldn't know how much my gift cost or where he got until after I had it in my hands. After telling me all this he said, "Now I'm not even excited for Christmas anymore. This year I was REALLY going to surprise you. Now it no surprise at all." He says this because the amount of money found matches the amount it would cost to get something I've really wanted but just finally asked for. He was going to make a few small purchases and have those presents under the tree. And save this one for when I thought I was done. Then whamo! He'd bring it out and surprise me. As he's telling me his Christmas plans I couldn't help but feel bad. Yeah, that would have been a way cooler way to figure out what I was getting. But mostly I feel horrible because his excitement and joy of giving was crushed by the very person he was trying so hard to make happy. I told him I was sorry. He's not mad but he said, "You couldn't just leave it alone and forget it ?" I don't know why I couldn't. Especially when I had a little inkling of a thought that it was for me. Instead I had to poke and prod and know everything. Now I do. And for once I don't like knowing everything.