He Hears Me....

Today was a rough day.

A day that makes me grateful for the fact that I have chosen to focus on the things that I loved about today. This way, maybe I'll forget the parts of today that brought me down.

First of all I hurt my neck and could barely move it for the past 3 days. The whole right side of my neck, starting behind my ear and into my shoulder made me scream in pain if even slightly touched. I have an amazing Visiting Teacher who is a massage therapist. I called her up and luckily she was available. Man was it great to lay there and get a massage. Not only that a FREE one, because of this... I have had back problems since July and found out my discs are deteriorating. My wonderful V.T. also gave me a massage in December when I could hardly walk. She wanted to do it for free. I wouldn't let her. She told me that I wasn't letting people serve me. That I need help and she feels she needed to give it to me, but I denied her that option. So this time she told me "no charge" and we had a little stare down and I said, "okay." And I admit that it did feel so good to let someone help me and I am so grateful for her help. So today I loved that I was able to feel the love that my V.T. has for me. She really is one heck of a lady.

I loved that everyone in my house is healthy and no longer sick.

I had to kinda search for a second thing to say I loved. Not because I don't love that my kids are healthy once again but because for some reason today I had this dark, grouchy feeling inside me. I didn't notice it was that bad until Jerry headed off to Snowflake for a basketball game. I wasn't mad the he went. Actually, I am glad he went. He has had fun playing his favorite sport again and this gave me a little bit of time to sort through my emotions.

I sat on the couch to try and wrap up Jane Eyre but I couldn't concentrate.

I suddenly realized that I have felt sad and depressed for no reason but couldn't do anything to change it.

I realized that I needed help.

I went to my room and asked my Father in Heaven to please let me read something in the scriptures that would let me know he is there and listening. I just really needed to know it at that moment...even though I already know it. Does that make sense??

I have started reading the Book of Mormon again this year. I was reading 2nd Nephi chapter 33.

I came to verse 3 and was moving onto verse 4 when it hit me.

So I read verse 3 again.

Then these words jumped out and filled my heart..."mine eyes water my pillow by night....and I cry unto my God in faith, and I know that he will hear my cry."

I instantly felt what I already knew. That He does hear me and He does understand me. Even when I may not understand myself.

So the third thing that I loved about today was that I was once again reminded of the love that my Father in Heaven has for me. It is a feeling that can heal anything. A feeling that I am so grateful to feel.